


Drabbles from Discord

by DarkWarriorProgram (KoolKat_SuperStar_DareDevil)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Self-Harm, and honestly I don't even know what'll end up here, just a lot of random small paragraphs that somehow amount to a 'story', just a lot of stuff, uh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28565139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoolKat_SuperStar_DareDevil/pseuds/DarkWarriorProgram
Summary: Just a compilation of the mini-stories I've written and will write in the Pegoryu Discord Server.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

How could he tell him? Akira didn't seem interested in him in  _ that _ way, not to mention they barely get to hang out now as more members join the team. Maybe if he kept his feelings a secret he could always be Akira's best friend. He may not be Akira's closest one but he'd be happy just to be  _ close _ at all, right?

Only being close to him is becoming more difficult as the days pass. Watching all the girls occupy Akira's time slowly chipped away at him. But as long as Ryuji was allowed to stay by his side he didn't care what the cost to himself was. It didn't matter that each moment he wasn't with Akira was like knives in his heart. It didn't matter if Ryuji was never able to be what he wanted to be to Akira. Nor did it matter if some nights he'd end up crying himself to sleep from the ache in his chest. Every moment Akira kept him by his side was one more moment that Akira didn't know how Ryuji really felt. Surely if he ever found out that will be the last moment Akira would want him by his side. If being close to Akira in any capacity meant slowly breaking into pieces, Ryuji was perfectly fine with that. After all, nothing would be able to compare to the pain of Akira sending him away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here's the angst

Akira knew he was late getting back to Leblanc and when the door refused to open he sighed. It wouldn't be the first time he was locked out and it likely wouldn't be the last. Though he did miss the make-shift bed he'd made in the corner of the shed. Akira was just glad he'd had the foresight to always carry a hoodie even if he almost never used it. He heads to alleyway and digs out his hoodie from his bag to put on as he settles in for the night. After the first few times he'd been locked out of his house he learned how to make himself fall asleep despite how uncomfortable he may be.

Sojiro had mostly closed up for the night and was just waiting for his charge to return before he could go home. When he spotted the teen outside the door from where he stood he watched in amusement as he tried to open the door the wrong way. It didn't last long though as he watched the boy walk away. He figured the kid was going to look for him and the amusement came back as he sat down in one of the booths that could be seen from the door.   
At 10 minutes the amusement had completely wore off.  
At 20 minutes the coffee pot was empty.   
At 30 minutes another pot of coffee was started.   
At 40 minutes it was long passed closing.   
At 50 minutes he started to worry.   
At 1 hour he got up to look for the kid.  
Sojiro didn't have to go far to find where the boy had gone. He reached out and shook his shoulder.  
"Kid, wake up."  
"Hm...?"  
"Why are you sleeping there?"  
"Lost track of time. Got locked out."  
That was all he was able to get out of the teen before he fell back asleep curled up against the wall of the cafe. It took some maneuvering to get Akira up to the attic but eventually Sojiro managed to get him in his bed. 

When morning came, Akira appeared at the bottom of the steps while the cafe owner was busy making his morning coffee. Akira awkwardly approached the counter, messing with the sleeves of his shirt. "Hey... uh... thanks for... you know... not making me sleep outside..."  
Sojiro looked at him, baffled. "Why the hell would I do that?!"  
Akira looked down at where his hands were resting on the counter. The moments of silence were as much of an answer as words were. "I mean... you don't really want me around so... I assumed..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning for self-harm. This is also a small part of an on-going AU the server has.

Ever since Sojiro took in the boy- Akira as she found out- Futaba spent more time watching the bugs than normal. So she heard it loud and clear when he started frantically muttering to himself about not being trapped. All she knew about the boy other than his name is that a customer of Sojiro's was a friend of a friend of his parents. Futaba knew- probably better than any of the other thieves- what went on in Akira's mind on a daily basis. Listening to his frantic mumblings and the scratch of pen on paper in the early months of his stay in Tokyo told her more than enough about how he'd been treated before coming here. Even now she sometimes heard him trying to convince himself that he had people who actually cared. Despite all this she hadn't been prepared for what she'd seen when absentmindedly checking the cameras. Nothing really could've prepared her for seeing Akira sitting in the middle of the attic with his knees curled up to his chest, one pant leg pushed all the way up, and blood running from fresh cuts along his thigh.   
And scars.  
So many scars.   
Many of them were thick, raised lines that told stories of skin being torn apart roughly. And more lines that were in various stages of healing. She was frozen to the spot as she watched Akira calmly watch the blood sluggishly drip down his leg. She was snapped out of her trance when Akira pressed the knife to his skin again.  
"No!" Her fingers moved automatically, sending out the alert to the other thieves before she found herself running down the street to Leblanc.   
\--  
It wasn't unusual for Ryuji to be up at this time of night. What was unusual was Futaba's 'Akira Alert' going off. He knew Akira should be at Leblanc so the alert both confused and worried him. He raced out of the apartment he shared with his mom and to the station, barely remembering to grab his phone as he rushed to catch the train. 

By the time he finally reached Yongen he wasted no time in running to the cafe, finding the door already open.


	4. Chapter 4

“Akira! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”  
“We’ve been so worried about you!”  
“Really?” Joker scoffs. A dark look took over his eyes as he fixed his gaze on the Phantom Thieves. “You didn’t seem too worried last time I saw you.”  
“What do you mean? If there’s something wrong let us help you.”  
Joker gave a bitter laugh. “No.” He crouched slightly into a battle stance. “You don’t get another chance. Not this time.” Blue fire swirled around him as a large white tiger appeared behind him. “Byakko! Ravage them!”  
The tiger’s claws came down on Morgana before they had a chance to react, immediately following up by pouncing on Makoto and digging its claws in as a wave of energy crashed into all of them before Haru made it back off with her psychic abilities. The physical attacks had taken a visible toll on the former leader when they saw an opening.  
“Dance, Hecate! Agidyne!”  
“Bufudyne, Kamo Susano!”  
Joker smirked and chuckled darkly. “Thanks for the boost.” He straightened up. Ann and Yusuke took a step back as Ryuji rushed at Joker and Haru summoned a Psiodyne. Haru’s attack made made him stumble leaving him open for Ryuji’s... only for Seiten Taisai’s hand to stop short as an invisible dome shimmered around Joker. “You’re not going to get anywhere at this rate.” He tossed Ryuji to side and descended upon Haru and the others with a viciousness they’d never seen.  
After some trial and error the thieves managed to chip away at Akira's health, aided by the physical attacks he used. He was down on one knee, bracing himself on the ground using his hands.  
"Alright enough fooling around." Byakko growled at the thieves as Joker stood up once again. "Crow! Let's end this!"  
They all gasped as the ex-thief jumped down from the same place Joker had. Their shock wasn't only limited to Joker and Crow working together though. When Crow appeared it wasn't his normal white suit and gold frills, instead he was clad in black; studded blacks strapped around his arms and legs. Completing the outfit was clawed gauntlets and a dark enclosed knight helmet and black mask tinted red.  
"Do it." Joker said as Crow summoned a persona the Phantom Thieves had never seen before.  
"Loki!" He called on the persona, dark energy emanating from it toward his partner. Akechi paused for a moment as Loki's power washed over Akira without anything changing. "Why didn't..." he muttered to himself.  
"It would seem that I have no sanity left to lose." Joker began laughing manically. "This is going to be even more fun than I thought."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The premise of a fic [MidnightMasquerade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxMidnightMasqueradexX/pseuds/XxMidnightMasqueradexX) and I may or may not write in the future. I'm just posting all of it so that if we end up not doing it you won't be left hanging. This was a conversation so that's why it reads it bit weird.

Ryuji and Akira are older but they broke up because a fight between them happened and they broke up on Christmas eve.

The older thieves have tried to sort them out but it just isn't working out. They're too stubborn to make amends. Akira decides that this is for the best: they're older now, things change when you grow up, and its best they never see each other again.

Cut to a few years later and it's Christmas eve again, Akira and Ryuji sit in their apartments and just think back to the fight they had. It's become a yearly thing. They miss each other. If they could turn back time and make things better, they would. Neither of them have contacted each other since the thieves got together to have them make amends, not sure if the other wants to see the other.  
It hurts more to think that they got together during Christmas eve. And then Akira goes and turns himself in.

The two of them got into fights because they were so worried about one another. Because they both lacked self preservation. Akira wanted Ryuji to take care of himself more, and Ryuji wanted Akira to take care of himself more. But due to their traumas in their Youth because of Ryuji suffering abuse under his father, and Kamoshida, and nearly dying - and Akira probably got neglected by his parents, then got arrested, got horribly beaten in the interrogation room - all of it accumulated to the point that they were unable to do that. 

They needed to heal and learn to cope with their traumas before they were able to take care of themselves in a healthier manner. But they weren't there yet. So their relationship became strained, leading to their break up. And they've long since gotten help and have started taking better care of themselves- but looking back on their many fights, makes them too timid to approach one another again. 

Like they both know that they've come a long way, and probably wouldn't get into anymore arguments and fights about it- but they really pushed one another and probably hurt each other unintentionally back then- so the pain of that prevents either of them from reconciliation.

They're both so worried that the other is still hung up on what happened, that they don't realize the very thing that's hurting the other is that they just miss one another. That's the only pain that's sill leftover from it all. Akira and Ryuji have both somewhat moved on from what happened, but they have yet to gain the closure they need from it. And will continue to hurt until they do so.

The longer they go without talking the more they try to accept that they'll just have to deal with it. They see each other in passing once or twice over the years when the thieves all get together, but neither of them say anything thinking that the other wouldn't want to talk to them... Eventually even that stops happening, not intentionally but just from what's happening in both their lives that makes their schedules conflict.

More and more time passes and they still haven't talked in years. Both of them have thought about it, have had the other's number dialed but could never press the call button. Akira and Ryuji have both resigned themselves to spending the rest of their lives with that pain.

Then they run into each other somewhere, literally. They make small talk 'hey' 'its been a long time' 'yeah' 'how are you?' 'good' 'same' before standing there for a few minutes and parting ways once again. Both of them have so much they want to say but decide not to. Both of them half looking over their shoulder as they go their separate ways; leaving everything they want to say hanging between them. After all it's been years since they broke up; years since they last spoke.

That ends up being the last time they ever see each other. Decades pass since then and Akira and Ryuji still haven't reconciled. 10 years, 20 years, 40, 50; the pain and longing is always there, a constant ever since they broke up at 17. It isn't just that they loved each other that makes it keep hurting; it's the closeness, the way it was so easy to let their guard down around each other.

When Akira's health starts declining in his old age he writes a letter to Ryuji saying everything he wanted to say last time they saw each other. He writes about how he still loves and misses him even over half a century later. He writes about the future together they had planned when they were teenagers; writes out what their life together would've looked like. Akira ends it with saying he loves him.  
 _Ryuji,_  
 _By the time you read this I'll probably be dead, depending on how long it takes to reach you. Ryuji... There's so many things I want to say I don't know where to start. So I guess I'll start at the beginning. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said that night almost 70 years ago. I realize now that both of us had things we needed to deal with, things that we needed to get help for before we could have ever really had the fantasy we imagined. Go to school, get a place of our own, marriage, maybe a family... We'd go to the same school and been roommates every year. When we graduated we would find an apartment while we found jobs. Save up for a house. I'd propose to you in some big romantic way that the girls would've helped me set up and get married on the day we met. After a couple years we would adopt a kid, a little girl. We'd both spoil her and when she got older we'd scare away her boyfriends and/or girlfriends. We'd watch her grow up, graduate, have a family of her own. Maybe she'd have a little brother or sister. And we would grow old together, spending days just sitting around with our daughter and grandchildren... I'm also sorry that I didn't have the courage to say anything when we ran into each other that day over 50 years ago. I had thought too many years had passed to try to fix things by then. That it was too late to try. There's not a moment that goes by that you're not on my mind and there hasn't been a second I don't regret not saying this to you then. I've long since given up counting how many times I had your number dialed and didn't call. I've missed you every single day since we broke up. If I could do it all over again, I would go back to when Ann, Haru, Futaba, Makoto and Morgana forced us together to sport things out. I would go back and swallow that stupid pride that stopped me from saying I missed you, that made me say we shouldn't see each other again. I love you, Ryuji and I always have. I've loved you every day for the past 70 years, and I'll love you until the day I die._  
 _~Akira  
_ Ryuji receives the letter the day before Akira passes away.  
He doesn't open the letter right away and a few days later he gets a call from Ann telling him Akira passed away the day after he got the letter. Ryuji just stares at the letter before opening it and by the time he finishes reading it he's crying so hard because if he had opened the damn letter maybe he could have said goodbye to Akira. But now he'll never know. He'll never know if they could've made up before Akira died; never know if he could've kissed him one last time. Cause when Ryuji thinks back on their last kiss so many years ago, it would break his heart even more. Because at the time he never realized it but that kiss would be the last one they ever had. And he would sob his heart out, because he can't remember what it felt like anymore. He can't recall the shape of Akira's lips on his, can't remember the warmth, the taste. Nothing. Time has eroded that memory and all the memories of when they dated. Of when they were happy... Everything that made Ryuji fall in love with Akira he can still remember. How he would always help someone who needed it, how he was the first person to stick by him even when he'd had his own problems, how he befriended Ryuji even though everyone warned him away. He can remember how easy it was to fall in love with him, can remember when he realized it. But the details aren't there. Ryuji can't remember what it felt like when Akira would hold him or vice versa and they would just sit there soaking in the other's company; can't remember Akira's laugh or voice... It had just been too long since it had happened. If he'd known that it would be the last time he'd hear Akira laugh he would've recorded it... if he'd known it would be the last time they'd be in each other's arms he'd have never let go... if he'd known he would be the last time they'd kiss he would've committed it to memory...   
If he'd known.  
But he didn't... because at the time he thought it wouldn't be the last time. He thought that they would make up and when Akira said they shouldn't see each other anymore he had been so angry and hurt that he had tried to forget. He had let those memories fade away. And now they're gone...  
Just like Akira...


End file.
